You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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