as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
