her vagine was all disorganized.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
