So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
