I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
