I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize
