my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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