I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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