i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
