Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
