Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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