its not stalking. its research.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
