stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
