We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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