R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
