i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
