I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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