its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Two words: blizzard sex
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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