I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
