just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize