fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
