That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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