Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I am naked and annoyed.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
