I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
