I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
