He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
