There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
