Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
