Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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