If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Dear god my vagina.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
