If that was your dad, he is hot
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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