her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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