I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
