She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
