Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
