i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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