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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
