The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
