i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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