The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
