So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize