Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
it was like his penis was on wheels.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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