so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
