So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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