come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
