My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
