I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
