he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
