6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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