What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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