There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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