Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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