If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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