Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
