Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
