Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize