She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
