the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
