Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
