so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize