sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
