you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
