Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
