Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
