We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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